I'm Afraid We've Got Some Bad News....

Fast Lane is in MEMPHIS!  So I guess we're gonna have to cook up a whole mess of some southern, buttered up, sticky sweet carbs and meat!

Being the last PPV before Wrestlemania, the menu has to reflect the same level of crucial buildup to the biggest event of the year.  So we're whipping up The Burger King of Memphis in honor of Memphis native, Jerry Lawler.  But
take it easy with these, because if you have more than one, you might find yourself hunched over mid-event yourself.

This is the first Fast Lane main event, replacing the former Elimination Chamber.  Matches here are going to decide the events at the more important Wrestlemania, so we'll give it a little more credit than it deserves.

So here is your Fast Lane lineup after the break.




BAD NEWS BEET SALAD
I'm AFRAID I'VE GOT SOME BAD NEWS: YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THESE BEETS
1. Boil several raw beets in a pot of salted water.  This will take about 30-40 minutes.
2. Meanwhile, chop 1/4 sweet onion, 2 stalks of celery, 2 sticks of carrots, and one clove of garlic
3. Drain the beets, rinse with cold water, peel and chop fine.  Mix with other vegetables
4. Add 4 tbsp red wine vinegar, 2 tbsp olive oil, 1 tbsp mustard, 1 tbsp horseradish.  S&P to taste.
5. Let sit in the fridge until you are ready to eat.


STAR DUSTED POTATOES

1. Slice lengthwise several sweet potatoes. Put in a ziplock bag, add a few tbsp olive oil, lots of salt and pepper, 1 tbsp paprika, and 1 tsp cayenne pepper.
2. Let marinate while you are working on the beet salad above.
3, Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
4. Bake for 25 minutes, turning after 15.  Cook longer if desired.  Dust with a bourbon sea salt while they are hot.

RING OF RINGS
This classic is as old as HHH and Sting, but you know it's always good and greasy and you're gonna serve them smashed in between the other, fresher ingredients. 

1. Slice up the rest of the sweet onion from above into circles.
2. Heat 4 tbsp of vegetable oil in skillet on LOW.
3. Mix in one plate: 1 c flower, 3/4 c bread crumbs, 1 tbsp cayenne powder
4. Mix in a bowl 1 c milk and 1 egg
5. Dip onions in milk/egg mixture to coat, cover in flour, put in hot pan.  Turn as they turn golden.
6. Put on a plate with paper towel to soak up extra oil/stay warm.


PAIGING CORNCAKES
Okay, I can't take credit for the CORNBREAD WAFFLE recipe I'm about to give you, but it was AWWWWWESOME.
You can get the recipe here


HEART STOMPER
You're gonna feel like you got a curb stomp to your gut when you finish these:

While you are cooking up those waffles, you are gonna take a MESS of ground bison meet, salt and pepper it and put it on a pan on low heat. THAT'S IT. Don't add anything else! You're gonna want it to have a nice crust on the outside, and still be jussst a little pink and juicy in the middle. Form into patties and grill.


Now, you may be wondering WHAT THE HELL all of this is going to make?

Condiments to have on hand: hot sauce, honey, BBQ sauce, a nice spicy cheese (we used jalapeno muenster).  You are going to pile this on your plate: half a waffle, burger, cheese, BBQ sauce, onion ring, more waffle.  Serve fries and beet salad on the side.


And I give you: SO just say YES! YES! YES! to the Memphis mayhem bison cornbread waffle.

The good news is you've got about 3 hours to digest it.